I am starting to think Donald Trump really should be President. No, he has absolutely no political wisdom, he has no understanding of government, and as Gail Collins points out in the NYTimes, "[Trump] was in the New York real estate business, a profession in which it is vital to be able to say imaginary things with total certainty"1. This fits perfectly with Jon Kyl's statement--and later, press release--on Planned Parenthood, canonized by the brilliant Stephen Colbert: "This was not intended to be a factual statement"2. Perhaps Trump does have some skill in dealing with the legislature after all.
I do not believe that America can get out of this mess without further catastrophe, which Trump could easily deliver. In fact, Trump's Presidency can also lay to rest the ideal that government should be run like a business: We could really be in a financial disaster, but Trump would tell us that it's raining unicorns and Hershey's chocolate. No one could ever tell him otherwise because it's not his money.
We have a legislature that has imploded to the point where it doesn't debate anything anymore (Jon Kyl, the perpetual backing-out of previously-agreed-upon pieces of legislation by a certain political party), so it would be fitting to have a President who also is incapable of understanding these mechanisms of government which are only valued by dead philosophers, scientists, and snooty English majors.
Trump has already had enormous success riding the Birther wave a full year too late, and there are a whole range of bizarre material open to him: Why not say Obama is a lizard? Or why doesn't he demonstrate his knowledge of Marxist theory? I hear that that nomenclature is still widely popular. He has had a bit of trouble appealing to the religious bloc, though3. I know! He can please the Religious Right by studying the Gospels and elucidate the link between Obama and the anti-Christ, though it did take about 6 months into his presidency to find the connection4.
I firmly believe that Donald Trump is the best man to demonstrate to us and the world our true nature, encompassing absolutely everything about us: Our greed, narcissism, and complete disregard for factual reality are fully ensconced within the Donald Trump persona. There is no one more capable of representing us as a people authentically than Mr Trump.
"What about the middle-class?" The middle-class!? Are you kidding me? What are you, a Communist? The middle class in America has lost its identity to the Tea Party, and can be depended upon due to insufficient general and civic education to vote for my candidate. I swear to you that Donald Trump will have the very best PR people on hand to make sure that recent history is entirely whitewashed in favor of big business, and I have full confidence that the American people will believe every word of it by the time November 3rd 2012 rolls around.
Vote Donald Trump 2012
1) http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/09/opinion/09collins.html?_r=1&scp=6&sq=gail%20collins&st=Search
2) http://joemygod.blogspot.com/2011/04/not-intended-to-be-factual-statement.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter
3) http://www.salon.com/news/politics/war_room/2011/04/12/donald_trump_serious
4) http://www.wnd.com/?pageId=105527
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