In late September, four kids killed themselves because of the bullying they endured as a result of their sexual identity1. Seth Walsh, 13; Tyler Clementi, 18; Billy Lucas, 15; and Asher Brown, 13; all committed suicide because of the unfathomable torment they suffered in school. One of these scenarios, however, is more terrifying to me than the others.
I like to describe public school as a rat cage with an electrified floor: The rats have no escape from the shocks, and so they attack each other, desperate and blind with rage and terror. It is also the first time the kids will encounter people different from themselves, and they judge based upon their own egos, inflated by their parents' praise, or overcompensation for its absence.
Bullying begins early, and for the pettiest of reasons, because that's what children are.
But the problem isn't simply racism or sexism, or any kind of outmoded bigotry that the school system and greater community has a readiness to alleviate. The problem in these cases is that homophobia is still to a large extent institutionalized and propagated. Parents take their children to church, and their pastors beat Leviticus 18:22 into their heads.
There is no other rationale for homophobia. It is merely, much like many other instances of institutionalized prejudice in our society, religiously justified. The Mormons believed that Africans and African-Americans were the cursed decendents of Ham, and for women, we followed the advice of the Apostle Paul in I Timothy 2:8-15.
Leviticus 18:22 is the only mention of homosexuality in all of the Bible's 2000 pages, and we act as though it is the only verse that matters, and our children take this to heart. Our children go to school, and like their maladjusted parents, lash out at this difference because they see their parents doing it.
It is bad enough when bullying is perpetrated by children without their parents'--and society's--influence, but in this case, we are responsible as a society for the behavior of our children, not because of the media, but because of what we have expressed ever since Jerry Falwell began to run his mouth in the 80s.
The Christian conservatives may claim that they have "a right to believe that homosexuality is wrong," but when that view is passed on to their children, who lack the self-control of their parents (who also lack a degree of self-control), and harass and discriminate against their peers because of what they have been told to believe, I see a problem. If they believe in Leviticus 18:22 (the only verse in the entire OT they will ever follow), then they should take to heart Jesus' "Judge not lest ye be judged," "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," and "Love thy neighbor as thyself," and most important for their role in society, John 18:36: "My Kingdom is not of this Earth."
No one is more disenfranchised as a result of society's errors than our children. They take what they are taught--even if only when it suits them--and apply it to their own lives. Leviticus 18:22 is probably the most easily-exploited verse in the entire Bible, and it is incredibly tragic that children as young as thirteen have taken to using it as a weapon against others, just like their parents.
Tyler Clementi, of the four cases, is in my mind the most terrifying. College was the greatest time of my life. I didn't think anyone could still care who or what one is enough to harass or discriminate against him or her. By the end of high school we were supposed to have grown up at least enough to get along with each other--and if we didn't, there is too much for us to do for us to bother anyone else. This is why I find Tyler Clementi's suicide so tragic, the product of a very sick and determined mind, to record him having sex and put it on the internet in order to destroy him.
Matthew Shepherd's murder did not deliver to us the full impact of what we are teaching our children, would these four suicides in the span of a month manage to sway us?
To me, and hopefully to my readers the consequences of belief--any belief--are readily apparent, and greatly influence what we choose to believe. But many people, such as the religious leaders whom their parents listen to, may be blind to the sea of blood that follows in the wake of their words.
What about the other children who endure this every day, and who are yet still alive? Can we save them from that terrible decision they shouldn't have to make? One of my good friends told me a story of her friend who came out as a homosexual and was pulled out of school by his parents. What will happen to him? Has he any recourse? Our children don't deserve this, and we can no longer afford to propagate this belief in our society.
The object of our education system is in part to make us more tolerant of one another, and we are failing miserably. I, unfortunately, have no solution beyond that of school psychologists and tolerance programs. Unfortunately, overriding the beliefs of the parents is difficult, if not impossible because many of these parents can simply choose to homeschool their kids if they disagree with what their children are being taught, defeating the purpose of education. This means we need to offer psychological counseling to the victim, and find him or her help in order to make their life at school and/or at home more tolerable.
That said, teachers, at least in my own experience, are hugely supportive, but it's not enough to counterbalance the overwhelming oppression that exists wherever those teachers do not, and they certainly do not help to find friends for the oppressed students, as they may be further ridiculed for being a "teacher's pet."
Do any of you have any solutions better or more specific than those I have presented?
1) http://www.nytimes.com/2010/10/04/us/04suicide.html
1 comment:
This is one area where the individual can really make a difference in a person's life. I remember being very 'down' and lonely away at college because my room mates did not like me & I didn't know anyone. A stranger sat next to me on a bench & asked how I was doing. Although I didn't say I felt miserable, just having someone ask alleviated most of my feelings. It is scary but not that hard to just ask someone "how are you" & listen to the answer. It might make all the difference.
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