First Post

A few things before I begin:

-Anything put on the internet is NOT AT ALL "private"

-Anything one says may be misquoted and used against the poster by uncivil tyrants

-Things could get ugly (intelligent), as I'm terrified of the current government and its anti-individualist, anti-intellectual (anti-American) policies, and not afraid to say it.

That being said, Welcome!

I'm concerned about politics because my government currently seeks to make people fit into tiny little Christian boxes and is starting to very much resemble the horrible regimes that existed in Europe in the 1940s and 1980s Iran, while ordinary citizens desperately try to preserve their comfortable, falsified realities even as one by one they go to war for oil profits.

I refuse to live in such a dystopia as this. It is bad enough as it is, we need to stop it from further resembling the dystopian novels I read, specifically The Handmaid's Tale and 1984.

I regard my own life as boring, and to escape I read books. "Bad" books, about societies worse than ours. My English professor 2 semesters ago called such books "bad" for me because they make me paranoid. But they don't: It's that I see the resemblance between The Handmaid's Tale and our current lifestyle(s). Remember the reaction to the Kinsey Report? Remember Terri Schaivo? Sam Brownback is running for President on Christian misogyny and homophobia.

So if things get worse, I'm going to Europe. I haven't decided where yet (my prospects for Australia was crushed when I discovered that the PM of Australia was "butt buddies" of our Commodus*), but I'm running out of time.

Ahh this is about me. I give up. Theres not much to be said, especially on the internet. I have little in common with other people, always trying to better myself, patch up any contradictions in my philosophies, reading a lot. How many kids in college (or adults for that matter) have a respect for Tolstoy or Dostoevsky? Where the hell am I? What am I doing? No.. I know what I'm doing. What the hell is everyone else doing? How many people in the United States have any decent critical thinking capacity? Based upon the Peter Principle, I'm simply not going to get anywhere. I bitch and moan about what others are doing, but am I going to be heard? Ayn Rand wrote in The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged about spineless invertebrates providing fierce resistance against the advancement and betterment of mankind. Nabokov's Bend Sinister touches on the same subject.

That's why I'm so upset, that's why I hate the world I live in. Incompetents govern my world, like some Kafkan nightmare. It's not funny. How long to democracies/republics last? Steeped in corruption, Greece imploded. *Commodus single-handedly opened the gates to Germanic invaders because of his ineptitude and possible mental illness (I wrote a paper on the Fall of Rome and attributed it to him and received an A).

"I'm so SIIIICK!!!!" ~ Flyleaf.

I cannot think of many times in which I'd rather live. History is not filled with fairy gardens and roses. History isn't good enough for me: It's getting there, Aristotle, Plato, and particularly Socrates started the snowball, but we're not at the point at which I would be satisfied, in which logical and intelligent philosophies were guides to political policy, where objective ethics guided Senate decisions and the respect for the individual, upon which this nation was principally founded, strongly influenced policymakers.

We don't live in such an age. I'm dreaming. I can dream. I can scream it all away, I can run.
I'm scared, as the Swastika is pulled behind the Cross. Inside, I'm a dreamer, a hopeless romantic terrified of those in power, as zoo visitors would be afraid of a chimp with a pistol.

I've been looking for romantic novels. I never read one. Jane Austen had too much fluff. I'm trying Franny and Zooey by JD Salinger, though I'm not sure what it is about yet. I've never been in love, I'm not sure that it exists. High school showed me that love is a fool's dream and college has yet to restore my belief in the integrity of human beings.

What would humans be like if there were no chains binding them? No god(s) or tradition or tyrannizing government, but only the limits of their own imagination upon their creativity? What if the government held the individual as sacred, instead of a few cells in a Petri Dish? What if the people were educated? What if they were helped to learn to think critically and distrust the government? What if high schools didn't crush the creative drive? What if young teens weren't lied to about sex/sexuality/sexual expression or love? Would there be inequality between the sexes?

Other societies merely chained men together, or to religious tyrants, but what if one were to come along and destroy the chains altogether? Maybe someone can rise up and take lessons from history: Not to repeat it.

I want something better. I want not to be bitter. I want to live. I want to love. On my own terms.

I want to be free.